I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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