Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
