They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I could fuck to npr.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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