So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
