She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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