u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
