love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
