so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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