i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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