well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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