ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
