Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
