This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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