Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
