Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
