Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
