I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Me too!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
