I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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