but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Randomize
