Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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