She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
