you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
