Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
