i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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