is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
