should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize