That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so explain again why im purple
no
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
