We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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