I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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