my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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