She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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