Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
