if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
