Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My vagina is very pro this idea
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
