I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
