its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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