its not stalking. its research.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
