the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
