I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
