is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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