he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
