Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
