look no pants
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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