I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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