I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Holy shit dude........stairs
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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