you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also, beer. Big fan.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
