Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
