People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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