I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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