Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
