do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
